This show inspires me to have sex in space
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
