Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!

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(077): View more from

it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner

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(734): View more from Michigan

Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome

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(954): View more from Florida

I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.

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(317): View more from Indiana

HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.

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(407): View more from Florida

Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.

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(207): View more from Maine

CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP

(207): View more from Maine

Do we still have any pizza left from last night?

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(408): View more from California

I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.

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