Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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