i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
only you would photoshop your dick
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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