my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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