butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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