She said her name was "party"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
