hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
