You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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