Me too!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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