i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
