So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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