New low: just hacked my moms facebook
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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