remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
