At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
