i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize