is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
