Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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