yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
