I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
