I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize