I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
