she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
