Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
