do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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