No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
