Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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