In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
