it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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