OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize