fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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