Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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