sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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