You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
