dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize