Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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