She announced her abortion via fbk
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
