i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
