I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
