I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize