he wants to bone in the snuggie
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize