oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
