New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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