At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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