If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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