People with herpes should wear stickers.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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