oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You can't just leave with hair like that
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
