I think I am morally bankrupt
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
