Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize