she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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