Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize