Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
