I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
