So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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