i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize