So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
